I promised you the whole trip, trial and error, everything going into this children's book "You Should! You Should!" Challenges, fears, successes, process, mistakes, paintings, drawings, the whole shebang. So today I'm going to share with you what's REALLY going on, instead of surprising you with sudden huge news, or telling you more fluffy "yay another painting" junk.
Okay. So here's the thing. How do I say this...
First, a confession:
I'm not passionate about painting. I'm not passionate about art. I like it and I'm good at it, but it's NOT my favorite thing. That's another story though. So here I am in this situation. Get this....
I have THREE months to finish 24, yes, TWENTY-FOUR acrylic paintings on canvas. Don said most illustrators have 9 months to a year. Let's see... I signed the contract June 29th 2012, I've had 5 months already, and only have three UNfinished paintings to show for it. Sure, designing the stage/characters/style takes a large amount of time, but I really could be much farther along by now. I really could. Alas, this is all I have:
|Still haven't changed blue to purple|
|I have major changes to make on sunset|
I don't love to paint. Honestly? I'm tired of painting. Honestly? I constantly look for excuses to avoid painting. Wow did I just say that out loud? No Ginny, you typed it. But you've said it out loud to your friends lots of times times. However... I am passionate about the story I wrote, the message behind it, and I'm passionate about sharing that message with parents and children and families and any single adult like me who comes across it. I'm passionate about my purpose and feel like I have not just a good idea, but an important idea. I want to write and illustrate fun playful "therapy" books that teach difficult skills and concepts to children in a fun easy way.
If I continue at this pace, however, I won't finish by March. NOT finishing, is NOT an option. But! Something needs to change if I'm going make it. Either externally or internally. I've been fighting the internal struggle all these months and I'm still dragging my feet. So... time to consider what EXternal changes I can make.
Here's what I'm thinking:
Painting in acrylic is so very time consuming. I don't look forward to the the hours and hours I'm going to spend sitting at a canvas alone isolated in my bedroom, mixing and fussing with paint. But... Monday, Will Terry did a digital painting demo for us in class. He got twice as much the work done in half the time. It looked incredible. Also, talk about easy set up and easy clean up! Plus the portability! Not to mention all the great photoshop tricks with layers and filters and brushes and opacity. And the UNDO BUTTON! I vowed never to go digital... I myself don't enjoy looking at digital art the same as real paint on real surfaces. I really feel like digital painting is fake painting. I don't think it should be called "painting." There's no "paint" involved in digital painting. But... it is SO much faster and easier. I decided I wouldn't switch to digital until it was absolutely necessary.
~~~For those who don't know what digital painting means, check out my only ever full digital painting (Little Miss Muffet) where I show the process here.~~~
So... (grin)... what if I put the two TOGETHER?? What if I start a painting out traditionally, scan it, and finish it digitally??? What if. What if!
I'm only 3 unfinished paintings into this process. If I were to change everything, now would be the time. So...
What I ask of you:
Please be patient with me as I spend the next week building a new process. I need to get a tablet, do a practice painting, finish it digitally, and seriously evaluate. Also, please don't be mad I'm not the passionate artist I proclaimed to be. I have to admit, it feels great, to be honest. But I do still find value here, and will continue to work hard until I find my niche!! Don't give up on me yet.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for supporting. Thanks for being there. I'll be honest... this whole experience has been a challenge. I'm really, really excited to cross the finish line, look back and say, "I did it."