Christopher Robbins, (my publisher at
www.Familius.com) is asking us to write up all the marketing material now. So I'm trying to write the "Sales Hook" and wondered if you could give me any feedback. It's hard!!
(Newcomers may read the original story here.)
Here is what he gave me as an example:
Sales Hook: <short one sentence elevator pitch. Example: A former high-school principal provides successful strategies to motivate kids to succeed in school.
Here's what I have:
Hippo isn't sure how to be himself when friends say, “You should walk like me! Sing like me! Dance like me! You should! You should!”
I wanted to leave a little bit of an open end... room for "I wonder what happens" even though you know a children's book always gets resolved. Anyway. What do you think???
Here are variations bouncing around my head:
Hippo questions how to be...
Hippo wonders how to be...
Hippo wishes to be himself but pestering friends say...
Hippo wishes to do things his way and be himself but pestering friends say...
Thoughts?